Girlfriend 6.0 vs Wife 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

1. a "Don't remind me again" button
2. a Minimize button
3. An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
4. An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
Bug Warning

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
Tech Support Suggestions

These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support


Source: http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/ragazzauk.html

囍

朋友的日誌中忍忍約約地流露出令人可喜的消息，雖然未經證實，但以我看柯南多年所得的推理能力，想必十不離二啦，哈哈。

這絕對是一件大事啊，遙想當年他房間的那張四句「格言」(亦可作目標X戲言，理想X廢話等)，真的不知是要誇他還是要笑他。總之我這個密探可以不負陳基托負的重任了。

我不其然地想象他另一面的情境：關注的眼神、溫柔的言語、體貼的服務、豪邁的點菜......撐不下了，放過我吧，太噁心了，嘻。

看到的話，你都是自己招吧，免得吾等用刑。

看看自己，唉......。神呀，救救我吧。(拜託質素好一點 :p)

身影

上班的時候，看到一個熟悉的身影，感覺是疲憊而沉重的。朋友的身邊帶著女朋友的孩子，穿著黃士心的運動服外加一臉不肖的樣子，如傳言一樣正好一個小霸王格。

朋友雖然一身穩重的白領裝束，但跟依然稚氣的臉孔，其實不太相襯。看見我的時候，他擺了個不知是難堪還是無奈的笑容，他大概沒預計會碰到我吧，但可以肯定，這並不是我以前曾看到的。

我無法把這個畫面與每天在公司樓下幼兒園看到的情境相連。到底，這可不是我們這群乳臭未乾的傢伙所能模仿的。背後所代表的，有著終生的承諾，有著不能推卸的責任。

朋友生性太順和了，不會拒絕人，怕他日會後悔。

女人真的會對男人產生很巨大的影響力喔，
那個背影簡直和上一次見倒他的時候完全不一樣的，
不是肉體上的，是精神上的。

同感。

「愛」經常被歌頌、被神性化、被喧染；那，他做對了嗎？設身處地，我又會如何？